Thursday, January 9, 2014

Powerful

our boys are two and four and very intense.  they are high energy, very curious and pretty much have an opinion on everything - which can be funny, but also be very frustrating at times.  i often think that many of these traits will make them adults that go after their dreams to get exactly what they want out of life, and hopefully be happy because of it.  and isn't that what many parents want most for their children... for them to be happy?  however, this strong willed personality is not exactly easy to raise and it's hard to know how to handle every situation without crushing their spirt.  well many of my questions and frustrations have finally been answered by this book...

i have never been a big reader, but i can't put it down.  the curled up edge
that had to be flattened with that bear [hibernating] nearby.

let me also say that this is never going to become a parenting blog.  i am the second oldest of seven and even though i have been around kids my whole life, i still don't feel like i know any more than the average parent.  every kid and family dynamic is different and my husband and i are really just figuring things out as we go.  i was talking to a dad with four and five year old boys at the playground recently and he said "oh, two and four - you are in the thick of it!"  in many ways i hope he is right, but i'm not sure it ever really gets any easier, the situations only change.  if you are a parent/grandparent with kids under the age of twenty, then i highly recommend this book.  power struggles come in all different sizes and even the quiet ones can pull them off in a subtle way to where you may not even realize it.  it is full of ways to diffuse situations before and even after they've begun.  i also learned a lot about my own personality, which i did not expect. 

i have implemented some of the tactics the past couple days and i can't believe the difference they've made and i'm not even finished with the book!  

example // cole has a major sweet tooth and is always trying to find ways to work us over for a treat.
i told him "no" a couple times and offered other options like i often do.  then i tried responding in one of the ways the book suggested.  when he didn't get his way he didn't pout, but actually said...

"this is going to be harder than i thought." 

 i had to turn away so he wouldn't see me smile.  he walked away and
went onto the next thing and it didn't come up again - it was all the proof i needed!

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